My budding family originally rooted itself in a Norman Rockwell painting of a small town. Our little house sat next to a set of pint-sized lakes where the neighbors would congregate for ice skating, egg hunts, bonfires and an annual pig roast picnic complete with the obligatory three-legged race. Every season was filled with beauty especially autumn when we were exalted with a blazing crown of splendor due to our neighborhood's disproportionate mature tree population. The neighborhood members always seemed to stride with a certain air that we all were special to live in an area where families valued themselves and each other. The picturesque residence was highlighted by being a short walk to the Small-town's center which showcased an assortment of up-market stores managed by Big City escapees honoring their mid-life hobby stores dreams. In addition, we were not in the middle of no-where land as this Small-town had a major artery running around it for a speedy one hour ride to the Big City and 45 mins to the beach. We loved the Small-town and we often sensed that the Small-town loved us back.When Tiger, our first child, arrived the whole neighborhood turned out to welcome him into our lives. Our little house by the lake was stuffed with people beyond the local fire code restrictions. The welcoming was joyous and eventful for everyone. And later, Peanut our daughter arrived.
The twist in my story is that our Small-town was mostly inhabited by people of European decent or white. Our children are African-American or black. This is not a problem from my perspective and I was originally embracing the idea that, "If I just love them enough…" racial differences would not matter. However, I would bring the kids to the local playground and it would be void of children of color. Our favorite pizza-joint, void. The library, void. The annual neighborhood Egg Hunt, void. Even our liberal Church, void. Everywhere we went, Tiger and Peanut were the only children of color. Our realization of the need for diversity was quickly becoming apparent yet the most alarming aspect wasn't from outsiders it was from our son, at age 3, was also appealing for more diversity in his own way.
Tiger often made verbal observations on his skin color as compared to his two Dads' pale skin color which we encouraged. It is our hope to instill a positive self-image of Tiger's cultural and genetic ancestry. However, Tiger's comments later seemed more focused (as much as a three year-old's can) and often pinpointed a kinship. For example, Tiger frequently said that the character Quincy from Disney's Little Einstein's show was his favorite, "…because he has brown skin like me." And he continued to be on the outlook for other little boys that were just like him.
(Diversity and startling discoveries: the Doll Experiment which I recommend everyone to view: The Doll Experiment)
DearPartner and I reviewed the school system in Small-town and found that our children could end up being nearly the only ones of color in their classrooms. In fact, Tiger and Peanut wouldn't see other children of color until high school. And it wasn't so easy to land on moving the family to a more diverse school system. Our researched showed a direct correlation between lower test scores and an increase in attendance of child of color. There are many theories on what is known as the Achievement Gap which I can talk to in a later blog entry. The question emerged: Have the best school system and no diversity or Have average schools and diversity. In the end, we did opt to move the family to a new location: Diverse-ville with a school system sporting a diverse profile and pretty good (but not great) test scores.
With Small-town having so much charm it was hard to find that same feel here in Diverse-ville. One day while house hunting in Diverse-ville we stopped at a new local playground to let the kids shake off some energy and DearPartner and I were overwhelmed by the amazing rainbow of children. There were a number of African-American families in addition to the Russian, Asian and Persian families all spanning the major religions and playing together.We found it. Home. With new exciting aspects to claim and a better fit for our own diverse and interesting family.
